I don’t think many men are capable of recognizing that they are not that good at sex, and that women don’t get that turned on by ordinary guys that they don’t like very much and don’t respect/think of as jerks. If this is you, you are relegated to obligatory sex that requires preparation and cleanup and is done kind of like paying the mortgage. It’s a relief when it’s paid, bc then you don’t have to worry about it for a while.