So, I feel as if empathy and speculation will not help this author as much as a plan will right now; please just insist that his paycheck, or a portion of it be direct deposited into a household account.

Immediately hire a house cleaner to come every week, as well as a sitter with his portion of the tasks, for your own sanity. Additionally, you will then be able to purchase basic needs such as clothing for the kids. Your husband is likely buying pot, etc., and then spacing out and gaming all hours.

As creepy as it is, a Ring security system (inside) will not only make sure the sitter is not abusing your children, it will document your husbands activities in court, because, he’s neglecting the children and the situation is untenable long-term. A judge will then attach his pay so that his children eat. A lot of scummy guys quit their jobs at this point just to spite their wives (!!) but hopefully he actually loves his children and this is a wake up call for him.

Regardless of the reason for his behavior, it’s time to focus on the environment that your children deserve to be in; if he can’t care for them, you have to do what is in their best interests.

Your love for (both your husband and your) dependents is unconditional, and he is failing them, and you. He is dead weight at this point, and will drown you all, leading to increased poverty, trauma, filth, and unhappiness for the group. Cut him loose to sink or swim back to you — when he can contribute like an adult. You’ve had the talks, you’ve asked, explained, cried, given him money (remember, he makes more than YOU!!), etc.

He can now be pathetic on his own time and stop impoverishing his children.