So, when things go great in a marriage, the husband gets the credit, and the wife’s just “doing her job like she’s supposed to.” When things go sideways, or the family needs help, usually the husband’s in crisis/denial and the wife is forced to cope, ask for support, and juggle everything, and people judge her, hard. They sit on the sidelines, unaware of the terrible “lesser of two evils” decisions she’s had to make, and give judgmental, irrelevant advice about their own comfortable lives and how they’d NEVER allow themselves to be in such a lowly estate. They point out every mistake she’s ever made and embellish even more, overlooking and unaware of the nightmares that DH has put the family thru, often that the wife has only recently become fully aware of the scope of.
Unfortunately, his family is often the most hostile, and if given half a chance, would disappear the now uncooperative wife for making their son their problem again. They’ll happily use the kids as pawns to punish the mother, reward the father, build up their own standing, etc. The son will forever be dependent on Mommy and Mommy will never pop her titty out of Junior’s mouth, because she wants to be his most favorite lady forever and have that CONTROL.