“There are no solutions, only trade-offs.”

Clearly, he thinks both dealing with his/your son and sucking his dick are your “jobs” and he is somehow above you in the hierarchy. He holds the boundary better than you do. Since you asked, I’d talk to my therapist about strategies to hold the line and gain an advantage to better negotiate a new dynamic.

A lot of oxytocin is released by non-sexual grooming touch. Could you get facials, massages, and hair appointments as well as up your masturbation game to support this? Stress can really help you focus - focus on YOU! Not him. He seems like a disappointment of a husband.