This sounds like a traumatic experience. It doesn’t sound like you are/were looking forward to having sex. Are you? He also does not sound caring or affectionate. Is he?
Both of those elements are required for a healthy marriage.
Is he currently having sex with other people? Would he be honest with you if you asked?
You address being conservative. Does this mean religious? Is he religious too? Many religious men have been raised with some very wrongheaded and selfish views about women’s sexuality- factually incorrect. Do not seek pastoral guidance, you will be vilified and punished. Go to a real, professional therapist. Without him, if necessary.
Learn about your own personal experiences and how you want to move forward. Nothing in this essay talks about desire, which is striking. You’re a 25 yo virgin bride…how can things never have gotten hot and heavy enough with the groom (previously) that this would be a non-issue? You can give someone a handjob and still be a virgin.